I am happy.
I am confused.
I am inspired.
I am scared.
I am trusting in something Greater than myself to guide my fears and bring me through.
I want to help people for the rest of my life.
I am just not sure in what way my help will best be distributed.
I am worried about money.
I am content in knowing I don’t have to worry.
I am aware that obedience with money and being frugal are essential in, you know, being able to buy food in the future.
I want a job that pays well.
I am afraid I will never really have that.
I also want to one day quit that well-paying job I may never have to raise the children I will one day have with the husband I will one day have.
I basically have nothing figured out at this point.
But! I know I’m not supposed to and I OWN WHAT I DON’T KNOW.
I definitely don’t know what the future holds.
I know Who holds the future.
I know the last time you heard that cliche you fell off your dinosaur.
I am thankful.
I am blessed and thankful.
Oh yeah, and I’m thankful.
I WILL enjoy my final year in graduate school.
I will try really hard to try really hard.
I cannot promise to watch TV less.
I can promise to pray more.
And listen to God A LOT more.
Somedays I know I’ll pray and listen and some days I will get caught up in my feelings and how I want my life to turn out.
Hopefully at the end of those OTHER days, I will remember that it’s not about me.
It’s not about the money.
It’s not about being comfortable with my current abilities.
It’s more about striving to figure out what I was born for…and realizing that that could be many different things over a long period of time.
It’s up to me to be content in each season.
It’s up to me to be the person I was made to be and who most of the time I actually like.
Until I start being the person that the fears and worries and insecurities tell me I am.
I’ll continue to laugh a really great amount and do it loudly.
I will continue to drink Diet Coke.
It is delicious and I heart you forever DC.
I love so much about this crazy life with these crazy yet lovable people.
I have a lot to give.
I can’t wait to give it all.