Currently

I am happy.

I am confused.

I am inspired.

I am scared.

I am trusting in something Greater than myself to guide my fears and bring me through.

I want to help people for the rest of my life.

I am just not sure in what way my help will best be distributed.

I am worried about money.

I am content in knowing I don’t have to worry.

I am aware that obedience with money and being frugal are essential in, you know, being able to buy food in the future.

I want a job that pays well.

I am afraid I will never really have that.

I also want to one day quit that well-paying job I may never have to raise the children I will one day have with the husband I will one day have.

I basically have nothing figured out at this point.

But! I know I’m not supposed to and I OWN WHAT I DON’T KNOW.

I definitely don’t know what the future holds.

I know Who holds the future.

I know the last time you heard that cliche you fell off your dinosaur.

I am thankful.

I am blessed and thankful.

Oh yeah, and I’m thankful.

I WILL enjoy my final year in graduate school.

I will try really hard to try really hard.

I cannot promise to watch TV less.

I can promise to pray more.

And listen  to God A LOT more.

Somedays I know I’ll pray and listen and some days I will get caught up in my feelings and how I want my life to turn out.

Hopefully at the end of those OTHER days, I will remember that it’s not about me.

It’s not about the money.

It’s not about being comfortable with my current abilities.

It’s more about striving to figure out what I was born for…and realizing that that could be many different things over a long period of time.

It’s up to me to be content in each season.

It’s up to me to be the person I was made to be and who most of the time I actually like.

Until I start being the person that the fears and worries and insecurities tell me I am.

I’ll continue to laugh a really great amount and do it loudly.

I will continue to drink Diet Coke.

It is delicious and I heart you forever DC.

I love so much about this crazy life with these crazy yet lovable people.

I have a lot to give.

I can’t wait to give it all.

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